How to Build Strong Relationships


Photo: Wikipedia

Strong relationships both at work and in your private life underpin your feelings of security. Strong relationships are also the foundations of a successful and enjoyable life.

There is much talk about networking. My advice is to forget about networking, it has a whiff of ‘wanting to create a relationship because you expect to benefit in some way’. This seems to me to be a somewhat “over commercial” way of viewing other people.

I don’t think of building relationships as anything more than making friends. When you take this approach to creating relationships the good feelings that you want to create override all other considerations.

I would like to suggest to you that your first thought when you meet someone new should be, “what can I do for this person?” This may sound altruistic but, this mindset will give you a number of benefits.

The Benefits of Focussing On The Other Person

When you are introduced to someone new and you immediately start to think, “what can I do for this person?” you will find that it is almost impossible to feel nervous. This is because you have ceased to be concerned about yourself. You have moved the focus of your attention away from “me” and on to the other person.

When you find even a small service that you can give to the other person, maybe something as simple as giving them a phone number or address, you immediately earn their gratitude. They feel kindly towards you. A bond has been created. Warm emotional waves flow between you.

Have you ever noticed how, when you do something to help another person, it makes you feel good about yourself? Well, heck, isn’t that something worth making a bit of effort for? How many other ways can you think of to make yourself feel good about yourself?

Building Strong Relationships is an Attitude

Someone once told me, “David, you have to get to be good at networking. It is a great skill, and it will bring you a lot of business.” I found this NOT to be true for me. The very thought that I was networking for gain made me feel distinctly uncomfortable; awkward you might say.

On the other hand when I go out into the world feeling open to whatever experiences might come my way, and I greet people with a friendly smile and an attitude of helpfulness – I find I make a lot of friends.

Does this approach work? Well, let’s put it this way: I have not spent one penny on advertising for the past 10 years. Also, I have not been to any business event seeking to meet potential clients. My business has thrived because my friends recommend me to others.

Powerful Ways To Build Strong Relationships

  1. Smile – smile a lot – smile big – show your teeth.
  2. Put the other person first. Think about what they might want. Consider what might be concerning them and how you might help.
  3. See yourself as a helpful person.
  4. Never forget to say “thank you” when anyone does something for you – even small services like opening a door for you. (The worst feeling in the world is to not be recognised.)

If you would like to see friendship building in action why not attend one of my Achievement Workshops? You will have a good time, you will make new friends, build strong relationships, and you will learn a lot.

About David Ferrers

Add your comment