A Merry Christmas Video

This video is about how to use a simple NLP technique to ensure that you can feel merry whenever you wish at Christmas time.

It is designed for everyone who needs a little boost to make sure they enjoy a Very Merry Christmas.

You may be so deliriously happy yourself this Christmas that you do not need this help. But you may know someone who is not as fortunate as yourself, if that’s the case you may like to pass this video on to them.

Children love to play with NLP techniques like this one. They work very well for children because of their unfettered imaginations.


Kick in the Eye EP

Photo: Wikipedia

Self-expression is the release of your thoughts, feelings and ideas. You express yourself when you just naturally allow these feelings, thoughts and ideas to just tumble out of your being. When you do this your personality, your true identity, reveal themselves for the benefit of others.

Self-expression becomes natural for you when you find your True Identity. This automatically leads to your being able to express yourself fully and powerfully. Once these two essential pieces have been fitted into the jig-saw of your life you are well on the way to happiness and fulfilment.

You already have multiple identities. You invent identities to enable you to fit into different environments. However, if you feel frustrated and consider that you are not achieving all that you feel you are capable of, it may well be because you have not yet found your true identity.

Your true Identity already exists, but it may be camouflaged by the multitude of other identities that we each adopt in order to satisfy what we consider others expect of us or to meet urgent needs to earn money. This true identity is built on your values, beliefs and the things that you enjoy and are naturally able to do well. When you do things well you are expressing yourself and that feels good.

When you subsume your true identity in activity whose sole purpose is to earn money you are liable to feel stressed and over-stretched. Or when you cannot express yourself through some valuable activity in your life you are likely to feel frustrated that you cannot release the pent-up feeling that your life could be so much more worthwhile if only…….?

The main purpose of my Writing Coaching and Writing Workshops, is to enable you to uncover your true identity so that you can fully and passionately express yourself.

How to Build Strong Relationships


Photo: Wikipedia

Strong relationships both at work and in your private life underpin your feelings of security. Strong relationships are also the foundations of a successful and enjoyable life.

There is much talk about networking. My advice is to forget about networking, it has a whiff of ‘wanting to create a relationship because you expect to benefit in some way’. This seems to me to be a somewhat “over commercial” way of viewing other people.

I don’t think of building relationships as anything more than making friends. When you take this approach to creating relationships the good feelings that you want to create override all other considerations.

I would like to suggest to you that your first thought when you meet someone new should be, “what can I do for this person?” This may sound altruistic but, this mindset will give you a number of benefits.

The Benefits of Focussing On The Other Person

When you are introduced to someone new and you immediately start to think, “what can I do for this person?” you will find that it is almost impossible to feel nervous. This is because you have ceased to be concerned about yourself. You have moved the focus of your attention away from “me” and on to the other person.

When you find even a small service that you can give to the other person, maybe something as simple as giving them a phone number or address, you immediately earn their gratitude. They feel kindly towards you. A bond has been created. Warm emotional waves flow between you.

Have you ever noticed how, when you do something to help another person, it makes you feel good about yourself? Well, heck, isn’t that something worth making a bit of effort for? How many other ways can you think of to make yourself feel good about yourself?

Building Strong Relationships is an Attitude

Someone once told me, “David, you have to get to be good at networking. It is a great skill, and it will bring you a lot of business.” I found this NOT to be true for me. The very thought that I was networking for gain made me feel distinctly uncomfortable; awkward you might say.

On the other hand when I go out into the world feeling open to whatever experiences might come my way, and I greet people with a friendly smile and an attitude of helpfulness – I find I make a lot of friends.

Does this approach work? Well, let’s put it this way: I have not spent one penny on advertising for the past 10 years. Also, I have not been to any business event seeking to meet potential clients. My business has thrived because my friends recommend me to others.

Powerful Ways To Build Strong Relationships

  1. Smile – smile a lot – smile big – show your teeth.
  2. Put the other person first. Think about what they might want. Consider what might be concerning them and how you might help.
  3. See yourself as a helpful person.
  4. Never forget to say “thank you” when anyone does something for you – even small services like opening a door for you. (The worst feeling in the world is to not be recognised.)

If you would like to see friendship building in action why not attend one of my Achievement Workshops? You will have a good time, you will make new friends, build strong relationships, and you will learn a lot.

How to Be Confident

The question, “how can I become confident” comes up frequently in my coaching sessions and workshops. My technique for dealing with this issue is simple:

  1. I ask, “do you always lack confidence?” The answer is inevitably, “no, to ‘always’, but there are many situations where my confidence seems to desert me.” Common situations where people’s confidence evaporates are: a) when they are imagining presenting to large groups, b) when their boss gets angry, c) when you want to start a dialogue with someone you really fancy. In this example we will work on a), public speaking.
  2. Note the use of the word “situations”. Confidence tends to be situational. There will be many situations were you feel perfectly confident. You don’t bother to pay much attention to such situations. It is the few situations where your confidence evaporates that grab your attention. But, the secret of remaining confident in all situations is to build on the situations where you feel confident.
  3. Next you need to find situations in which you feel very confident. Perhaps when you are enjoying yourself in the company of friends, or when you are at a concert or a party, or when you are running meetings at work. Get in touch with the feeling you have in such situations. Notice also any physical behaviours that you display at such events when you are feeling confident. For the sake of this explanation, let’s just imagine that you smile a great deal with you feel particularly confident. Hang on to the thought that you smile a lot when you feel confident.
  4. Make up your mind that you want to feel confident all of the time.
  5. Start imagining that you are an exceptional public speaker. See yourself in front of the audience, speaking eruditely, persuasively; the audience applauds. Practice in your mind. Role play in your mind when you are riding on a train, or a bus, or when you’re out for a walk in the park. Do this constantly until it starts to feel real to you.
  6. Next imagine that you are only speaking to a few people, not a large audience, and imagine that they are all friends of yours, people who really like you and want you to do well.
  7. Practice when you are in meetings or anywhere where you speak in front of other people. Make it a habit to always be presenting to an audience.

I feel sure that you appreciate that this is a short example. I do not expect that this short article will change any of the situations in which you lose confidence. However, I hope that you will see from this article that there is hope that you can become confident. That there is a way that you can overcome your anxieties.

To find your confidence you need to work with other people, and you need to practice being self-confident. The best way to do this is to work with a coach either on a Achievement Coaching programme or at a Achievement Coaching workshop.

Exploring The Windmills in Your Mind

Round, like a circle in a spiral
Like a wheel within a wheel
never ending or beginning
On an ever-spinning reel

Like a snowball down a mountain
Or a carnival balloon
Like a carousel that’s burning
running rings around the room

Like a clock whose hands are sweeping
past the minutes of it’s face
And the world is like an apple
whirling silently in space

Like the circles that you find
in the windmills of your mind

Like a tunnel that you follow
To a tunnel of its own
Down a hollow to a cavern
Where the sun has never shone

Like a door that keeps revolving
In a half-forgotten dream
Or the ripples from a pebble
Someone tosses in a stream

Keys that jingle in your pocket
Words that jangle in your head
Why does summer go so quickly?
Was it something that you said?

Lovers walk along the shore
And leave their footprints in the sand
Is the sound of distant drumming
Just the fingers of your hand?

Pictures hanging in a hallway
In the fragment of this song
Half-remembered names and faces
But to whom do they belong?

When you knew that it was over
Were you suddenly aware
That the autumn leaves were turning
To the color of her hair?

As the images unwind
Like the circles that you find
In the windmills of your mind


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