Best NLP Answers

Best NLP Answers

NLP and Emotional Intelligence – what’s the difference?

English: Logo Connecting Emotional Intelligence

(Wikipedia photo)

I had the privilege yesterday morning of attending, via Skype, an NLP training session in Bangalore.

One of the delegates at the training asked me: “what’s the difference between emotional intelligence and NLP?”

I was not entirely happy with the clarity of my answer, so I am taking this opportunity to clarify the difference.

Emotional Intelligence affects how we manage behavior, navigate social complexities, and make personal decisions. It is a naturally occurring part of what we are.

NLP is a collection of systems for understanding and programming our behaviour. It is a toolkit that allows us to change and improve the way that we think, feel and behave.

NLP can be used to enhance our emotional intelligence, to improve our behaviour, to better navigate social complexities and to make better personal decisions.

Emotional intelligence was first identified in an effort to understand why people with relatively low IQ scores were able to obtain superior results to those with high IQ scores.

NLP developed as a way of modelling and reproducing the skills of highly competent people.

Leadership 2 – Awareness

Clarity in Photoshop free action

(Photo credit: gatowlion)

A good leader is constantly aware of what is going on around him/her. Their antennae are acutely attuned to the atmosphere, to the body language of each member of their team, to the tone of voice that is employed by those talking to them. They are also keenly aware of the impact of their own body language, the words they use and their own tone of voice.

The keys to awareness are: Alertness, Focus, Concentration and Clarity. The good leader employs his eyes, ears and feelings to connect with his surroundings.

As those of you who have read and are practicing Power Affirmations will know you can amplify the effect of all of your senses by enlarging, colouring, increasing volume. bringing closer, framing, adding movement, increasing speed and creating shapes.

When you get yourself into the state of being aware you will find that you have far greater control of your team and the quality of your communications will improve greatly.

Your Self-Confidence is the Key to Your Future

Paramarine in training at NAS Lakehurst in 1942

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Your Self-Confidence is the difference between your doing and not doing anything. We have confidence in what we believe we are capable of doing.

Self-confidence is being in control of your own operating system. It is having the confidence to do things your way, to not be swayed by others.

Your self-confidence is who you are going forward in life. If you lack confidence in your abilities and your ideas they will not come to fruition.

Without confidence you will always have to ask other people. Without confidence you will not push ahead when there is doubt about the undertaking in which you are engaged.

Confident people do not dwell on problems, they are forever looking for solutions.

A parachutist must have confidence that their parachute will open. Without that confidence no sane person would ever jump out of an airplane.

Similarly, with every undertaking in your life you need to have confidence in the value and likely outcome of what you are doing.

I will take a break from blogging over the Christmas and New Year period. I wish you a very happy Christmas and a prosperous and healthy New Year. See you in 2013.

Power Affirmations

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Your Self-Worth is The Value You Put on Yourself

Don't rely on someone else for your happiness ...

(Photo credit: deeplifequotes)

Perhaps it is because we are brought up with the idea that we should be modest and not blow our own trumpets most people tend to value themselves as less than they actually are.

Pause here and review what you have done recently for a few moments. Have you visited a friend who is sick, have you smiled at a stranger to bring a little lightness into their day, have you shared some humour with a colleague at work, have you helped someone who does not have your ability in a certain area, have you made or done something for others (like cooking a meal, or a giving a presentation that enhances their understanding, or giving directions to a stranger)?

There are a thousand and one ways in which you constantly add value to the lives of others. Many ways that you give pleasure or reduce stress for others. All of these can only happen because you have a value. Sometimes this value will be great, at other times it will be small, the important point is that whatever you do gives value to others. You should recognise that you have value and use that recognition to give yourself the gift of self-worth.

You are worth more than you give yourself credit for.

Train Your Monkeys book cover

Coming Soon

How Balanced Self-Esteem Can Add to Your Happiness


(Photo credit: breahn)

Your Self-Esteem depends on how you compare yourself to other people both at work and in your private life.

If you are forever comparing yourself with the amount of money that other people have, or comparing the size of your house with the largest house in your area, or comparing the clothes you wear with a super-model’s, or comparing the size of your chest with a weight lifter’s, you are going to have low self-esteem.

But if you don’t play the “compare” game and just accept that at the important levels of humanity everyone is equal you will find that you become a great deal happier in your life.

Certainly everyone has different skills and abilities, but that is because we are all unique, so there is no value in comparing your skills and abilities with those of other people.

Self-esteem is about the value that you bring to the world. Your value will not be the same as other people’s, but it will be what you add, and that will always have value somewhere, in some way. You are special, you are wanted, you are talented and you are valuable.

Train Your Monkeys

Coming Soon