Create The Life You Want

Create The Life You Want

How Debbie went from being a PA to life on a beach

Discover how you can transform your life like this pa who reinvented herselfIt was just over three years ago that Debbie cornered me on my way out of a corporate coaching session.

As I walked down the corridor she suddenly appeared beside me: “Everyone seems to be enjoying the coaching you’re doing with them,” she started shyly.

“I’m pleased to hear that,” I replied.

“Yes, they all say they find their sessions very valuable as well.” She smiled, “Eye opening, one of them said.” There was an awkward pause. It was obvious that she was searching for words. Then she blurted out, “do you do private work?” Before I could answer, she hurried on. “I mean could I have a session with you.”

“Yes, of course.” I smiled to encourage her.

“Will it be very expensive?” She asked.

“Well, the first session is what I call a ‘getting to know you’ session. It allows me to ascertain whether I can meet your needs and we decide mutually whether we are compatible, in a coaching sense.” I paused, “I don’t charge for the first session.”

“Oh, that would be wonderful!” her face lit up. “When could we do that?”

We fixed a date for the following week.

Debbie was PA to the Chief Executive of the large corporation where she worked. She was very well organised, but she was also very frustrated. She felt that there must be more to life than trudging into the office every morning and slaving away; being confined within four walls for eight hours.

The First Step

At our first session Debbie kept saying that she wanted to express herself, to be herself. But she could not define what expressing herself was like.

I took her through a process I use in my Discover Your Passion workshops that starts with defining what you love to do. This is often much harder than it sounds because there is seldom just a single thing that you love to do. In Debbie’s case she loved outdoor exercise, meeting people, behaving gregariously and organising people and events. She also liked just hanging out with people and being outdoors; but at the same time she was ambitious.

My next questions were around, “who needs someone who loves doing what you do?”

“People enjoying the outdoors,” she replied. Then she added hastily, “But I don’t want to be a holiday rep and I don’t have any outdoor pursuits qualifications.”

Long Story Short

After much further discussion she settled on the idea that she would like to have a beach bar, on a nice sandy beach somewhere where the sun always shines, So, her next holiday she set off for the Far East to visit four countries in two weeks so she could scout out the possibilities.

She came back very excited and nervous. She had found a location where she could build a beach bar, but it was going to cost more than she possessed to set it up.

I helped her write a business plan and sent her off to talk to her family and any relatives who might be prepared to make an investment in her business.

Her excitement and enthusiasm helped her raise the capital she needed. She resigned from her job, and set off, excited and scared, but determined to follow her plan.


Debbie worked very hard at her business. The first year she nearly gave up and came home. But she has that bloody-minded persistence that entrepreneurs need and she stuck it out. Her bar became famous for it’s music, fun and hospitality.

Debbie now owns three beach bars.

What about you?

Are you going to dream on, or are you going to take the first step and discover what you love to do? It may simply be another type of job, or it may be a business of your own.

Or, if you live outside the UK, you could get the book from Amazon.

Disclaimer: this is a true story from my files, but the description of the main character has been altered to protect her identity.


What is the best way to get customers for my business?

Discover how to get customers for your business - Meaningful Answers blog by Life Coach David FerrersWhen you really know your customer everything you communicate about becomes a like a personal letter to that person. It becomes much, much easier to communicate with your target audience.

Notice that I said, “know your customer,” singular. It is very important that you see your customers as a tribe of very similar people. You need to know the queen bee in that tribe intimately. Once you establish that relationship everything you say will be influenced by your desire to build a closer relationship.

In a way successful marketing is about building a loving relationship between you and your queen bee.

Defining Your Customer

Your relationship with your customer starts with you defining who this person is.

The first step is to ask yourself, “who needs my product or service?” Write down your answers to

questions like these that will help you to visualise your customer:

“Who have I seen buying a product like mine?”

“Who have I noticed enjoying a service like mine?”

“Who have I seen at seminars or workshops about a product like mine?”

“Who have I seen at places where people buy products like mine?”

“Who have I seen buying or reading books about products like mine?”

Get Even More Precise Details About Your Customer

Once you have a rough idea who your queen bee is you need to get more specific about her. Write down your answers to these questions:

“How old is she (he)?

“Where does she live?”

“What does she enjoy?”

“What sort of work does she do?”

“What hobbies does she pursue?”

“What are her tastes in food?”

“What sort of TV programmes or movies does she watch?”

“Is she single, married, in a relationship?”

“Is there something specific that gives her life meaning?” This is a key question because this will be a particularly hot positive emotion button with her.

“Is there something specific that she needs.” Read the previous article about How To Turn What You Love Into a Brand paying particular attention to the section on the Two Types of Motivation That Drive Customers.

Making Your Customer a Real Person

You now need to make your customer into a real person. What I do is to find someone whom I already know who has an exactly parallel profile to the one I created when I did the exercises above.

I then study what she does, what she likes, her taste in food, her hobbies and relaxation activities, what she wears etc. I go on thinking about that person until I feel that I really understand and know her like a best friend. Once I even went so far as to take a queen bee out to dinner so that I could find out more about her by talking to her. I told her what I was doing and she joined in the fun. As I paid the bill she told me that she had uncovered a lot about herself that was valuable to know.

Discover how to build relationships with your customers - really get to know your customers so that you can communicate with them persuasively to get them to buy your product or service - Meaningful Answers blogGet Intimate With Your Customer

Write a love letter to her or him. You will never send the letter, but it will help you to find words that express the benefits of your product or service that are credible and persuasive. (I will tell you more about how to write persuasive copy in later articles.)

Finish your letter with a call to action. Find a way of persuading your customer to satisfy their need by doing something you want them to do.

Above all it is important to be a real live, friendly, helpful human being when you communicate with your customer. Make sure that what you do is fun and enjoyable. People are more open, more relaxed, more easily persuaded when they are having fun.

The entertainer Bruce Forsyth had a magical ability to persuade people to do daft things on television. His subjects would actually enjoy acting the fool and being a source of laughter for the audience. He got people into this state by quickly making them feel “at home,” relaxed and part of an enjoyable occasion. It is your task to do the same with your customers.

As I said at the beginning, “When you really know your customer it becomes much, much easier to communicate with them and persuade them of the benefits of your product or service so that they buy from you.”

When you offer someone something that they need in language that is their language, they will buy from you. The key is to really know your customer.

If you’d like to know more about yourself, what you’re really good at and how to find customers who need what you offer – you might like to attend one of my low cost Discover Your Passion 1-day workshops.