Do you know that less than one in a hundred resolutions ever results in any permanent change in our behaviour?
Client: Why are we so bad at sticking to our resolutions when we set out with such high hopes of success?
Coach: One major reason is to do with time – the longer we strive to achieve a goal without tangible reward the more the law of diminishing enthusiasm and determination undermines our efforts.
Client: What does that mean?
Coach: Let’s say you decide that you want to lose 30 pounds in the new year. You set out with great determination and a clear picture in your mind’s eye of how your body will look when you are 30 pounds lighter.
After a week you may have lost 2 pounds. It does not feel like a big weight loss. You have sacrificed several glasses of wine and forsaken bread and some other favourite foods. The sacrifices seem great, you really miss those favourite foods, and the resulting weight loss seems very little in relation to what you have given up.
Client: No pain, no gain is what they say.
Coach: Yes, but how much pain can you put up with when the gain is so small?
The problem is always that when we make large sacrifices we expect to gain equally large benefits and that is rarely what happens.
Sooner or later the “Evil Wolf” inside us demands food. Temptation raises its head and when we are tempted sufficiently we are likely to give in.
Client: So, how can I overcome temptation and stick to my resolutions?
Coach: Make your goal really simple. Instead of setting out to lose 30 pounds, a distant prospect, challenge yourself to lose 2 pounds a week for 15 weeks. At the end of each successful week you will then feel a real sense of achievement.
In NLP we call this “chunking down” or breaking your objective down into small, easily achievable parts.
Client: What if my resolution is something more complicated like “I want to be an inspiring leader?”
Coach: You still have to make it simple. Ask yourself, “what does an inspiring leader look like, what does he/she sound like, how does he/she feel? Create the images, feelings and sounds in your mind.
Then chunk those images, feelings and sounds down into smaller parts that you can work on.
Client: Can you give me an example please?
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Coach: Let’s say that one of the chunks of your Dynamic Leader image is “I always listen to people with my full attention in order to give them the feeling that I value them;” you might create an image of yourself listening with your ear cocked and full eye contact with the speaker. At the same time you are feeling good about the care and attention that you are investing in the speaker.
Create the image of yourself listening in this way, add the good feelings to the image. Then set out to catch yourself listening with full attention. Every time you catch yourself listening in this way reward yourself with a warm, internal smile of satisfaction.
Client: Is that all there is to it?
Coach: Yes, the key factor is not the degree of difficulty, it is the consistency and continuity with which you do it. By listening in this way continually you will develop the habit of good listening and your team will come to expect and respect that you listen well.
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Client: But listening well is only one small part of being a good Intuitive Leader, what about all the other abilities I have to develop?
Coach: Be patient, it takes a while for even the most gifted of sports people to develop into world-beaters. The good news is that by constantly building new leadership skills onto your natural leadership abilities you will become an increasingly effective leader. As you progress you will find that you include more and more good leadership practices in your natural way of going about your business.
Client: Is there any way that I can speed up the process of making the changes to become an effective leader more quickly?
Coach: I love it when you ask intelligent questions – by working with a good leadership coach who will show you shortcuts, powerful change techniques and motivate you to make the changes. We can start the process of fast-tracking your development as soon as you contact me.
0800 195 1989
Best wishes,
