An unwanted behaviour occurs when your emotions stir up your autopilot which causes you to behave in the unwanted way before your conscious mind can interrupt and stop it happening.
These autopilots are wired into your memory by repetition of the behaviour.
It would be good if human beings had the capacity to turn off their autopilots, but the sad fact is that we cannot turn them off.
However, you can change an autopilot response. To do this you have to overwrite it with a behaviour that you would prefer in the circumstance.
The secret to successfully overwriting an autopilot lies in your self-image. The first step is to look at what emotion is being stirred up when the unwanted autopilot plays. Then, once you have isolated the offending emotion, work out what is the opposite, positive emotion and write that positive emotion into your self-image.
For instance if you are prone to unwanted anger you should write “I am always calm and relaxed” into your self-image.
Once you have decided on your positive affirmation you need to repeat it constantly with feeling and with a vision of yourself behaving in that way.